Growing up, we always wanted to have a million dollars to buy a giant mansion with a pool. These days, a million doesn’t go very far, even if you have it. These seven Vancouver homes worth over $1,000,000 show what the actual, crazy reality of homeownership is like in Vancouver right now.
Now, this isn’t to say that all Vancouver homes are bad — in fact, many are quite nice and even affordable.
However, as real estate and insurance prices continue climbing, these are becoming harder and harder to find.
But you’re not here to see mansions plated with gold or dreamy Parisian mansions. You’re here because you’re above all that.
You’ve transcended lesser feelings like comfort or beauty, and no longer feel attached to material possessions like money or land. You have reached enlightenment, and deserve a home that reflects that truth.
Or maybe you’re a broke millennial like us. Maybe you’re simply looking for a laugh at the bad, bad housing selling for millions out here.
Whatever the case might be, we went and found some of the worst places selling for ridiculous prices on the market right now. Trust us — these are not pretty.
Address: 786 E. 45th Ave., Vancouver, BC
Description: Having gathered great wisdom in its 90 years of age, CUBE is home to a treasure trove of lived experiences and maybe ghosts.
Address: 6791 Main St., Vancouver, BC
Description: When you think “million-dollar home,” this is probably a little off-base from what you’re picturing. This perfectly unremarkable home is exemplary of the craziness that is our real estate market.
Address: 2848 E. Broadway, Vancouver, BC
Description: Are you a hundred-year-old ghost of a grief-stricken widow? Or maybe you’re a novice necromancer hunting for a dank lair to perform your dark arts. This 1,800 square foot, four-bedroom, 70-year-old creaker is ready to facilitate all your light-flickering jumpscares.
Address: 4995 St Catherines St., Vancouver, BC
Description: It has air conditioning, so, that’s something?
Address: 518 Keefer St., Vancouver, B.C.
Description: Are you obsessed with Tetris? This 110-year-old house is perfect for the people who like small spaces, having been wedged impossibly tight between two buildings. As a bonus, “the home is currently not livable and requires complete renovation in order to obtain occupancy permit,” according to the posting.
The Winding Road
Address: 3336 W. 35th Ave., Vancouver, BC
Description: Don’t you hate grass? That stuff is so green and pointy. Much better to replace your lawn with a field of dried dirt and weeds. That way, you can lay a long, winding path through it and pretend you’re walking past an arid wasteland whenever you return home from a long day at the money factory.
Address: 2666 E. 53rd Ave., Vancouver, BC
Description: This 70-year-old structure can be found near UBC. It has a lovely view of the campus, the mountains, and the infinitely inflating Vancouver real estate market.